Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Randomize
