sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
This is the prime rib incident all over again
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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