Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
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