If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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