I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
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