You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
she peed on how many people?
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
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