How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
