Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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