Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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