I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
