The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
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