so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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