I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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