note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
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