I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Randomize