i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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