grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Randomize
