last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Randomize
