"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
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