if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Randomize
