we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
