Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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