Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Randomize
