Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
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