where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
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