No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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