I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
i think my mom watched the whole time
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
I love you.
Bad choice
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
