don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
