Sponge bath it is.
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
