So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
