Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
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