So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
A+ Viking dick
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize