batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
YAS. BRING CRAB.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
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