Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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