Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
