I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Randomize
