Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
