hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize