Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
