forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Randomize
