you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
organizing the empties. That sober.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize