I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
