We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Randomize
