I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
