How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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