These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize