Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
