margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Randomize
