her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
