i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Randomize