K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
Randomize
