he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
