Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Even my vagina gasped.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
