only if we run a train.
done.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Randomize
