I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
