We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize
