if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
