its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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