butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize
