So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
He did a backflip because drugs
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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