He asked to "fluff my boner.."
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
