Ambien. No doubt about it.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
Randomize
