Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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