You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Randomize
