watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Randomize
