When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
