Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I'd wear matching sweaters with you
Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Randomize
