Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
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